Here lies

Found a funny collection of tombstone epitaphs to get us all in a creepy, Halloween mood!


Here lies Billy Brown
Lost at sea and never found


Here lies Walter Dudley
He found out too late,
Dobermans aren't cuddly.


Here lies departed Jim Migg
He would like for you to dig


Here lies old Mrs. Derns
Now being eaten by lots of worms



Here lies poor old Lester Moore.
Took four slugs from .44
No Les, no more ...


Here lies Frank McGloan
By a gun he's dead
Was caught in bed
With a wife that wasn't his own

Here lies the father of 29
There would have been more
But he ran out of have time

Here lies my wife in earthy mould
Who when she lived did naught but scold
Good friends go softly in your walking
Lest she should wake and rise up talking



Here lies Gil, a teen
A tisket, a tasket,
His head lies in the casket


Here lies dearly departed Bill
He always lied and he always will
He lied once too often and now he lies still

Here lies good old Fred
A great big rock fell on his head


Here lies beloved brother Tor,
He couldn't take it anymore

Here lies the body of Thomas Kemp
Who lived by wool and died by hemp


Here lies ex-spy Nathan Wood
This time he's underground for good



Here lies thieving Kid McGraw
He was quick on the trigger
But slow on the draw

Here lies the body of John Doe
He had no where else to go


Here lies Matthew Mudd
Death did him no hurt
When alive he was Mudd,
But now he's only dirt!


Here lies Ned -
There is nothing more to be said
Because we like to speak well of the dead

Here lies Anne Mann
Who lived an old maid,
But died an old Mann